La nueva presentacion

Hoy llego el dia en que este blog cambia de nombre, de formato, de adornitos, de todo... No se si seguir y decir que voy a empezar a escribir todo en español, porque dios sabe que nomas yo me se ese chisme y a veces me aburro de pensar en un idioma. Lo que si es que debo aprender a separar entre lo que ocurre en un quehacer cotidiano (que para eso tengo el otro blog) y el de la bruja en mi (que para eso tengo el otro blog tambien).

He estado pensando mucho en el anecdotario que quiero escribir. Ya tengo las recetas del libro y ahora nomas me falta sentarme apensar en que chingados poner. Tengo las anecdotas pero (a) no se si escribirlas con nombres y apellidos o (b) no se si escribirlas con pseudonimos pa no ofender a nadie, particularmente a los vivos que se ofenden cuando uno escribe mal su nombre. no me gustaria que por mi culpa se fuesen a la otra vida con el uy uy uy entre las piernas.

Ayer tuve un sueño extraño. Una vecina mia fue a mi casa toda madreada y mi abuela (Q.D.P.... aunque sinceramente lo dudo, pero bueno) estaba ahi sentada en el sillon de mi recamara. Yo y la gata - Mikuni - estabamos haciendonos las dormidas y escuchando la conversacion que iba mas o menos asi:

Vecina madreada: ya sabra uste a que vengo...
Abuela: ay criatura! pos si vienes toda madreada!
VM : pero sabe a que vengo?
A : No es necesario estar muerta pa saber que vienes a pedir algo que no nos conviene... pero andale, dile lo que quieres.
VM : nomas quiero que le diga a la gente quien fue. Ya sabe uste las amigas que uno se carga.
A: pero eso te pasa por pendeja, mi'ja...

En esto me despierto. Pregunte por la vecina y nadie la ha visto en un buen pero me dicen que sigue vivita y coleando... pero la junta de amiguitas con las que se carga son algo de preocuparse. Ahora ya no me sorprendera cuando lleguen un dia a decirme que la vecina se desaparecio.

Espero que no. Toco madera y carne de mula.....

In the Middle of the Night

I don't know what happened... I woke up this morning, on the floor. Apparently, I fell off the bed during the night and didn't notice until I found the floor hard.. cold...and I laughed myself silly. A cramp began in my leg and I couldn't get up. This made me laugh even more. What the heck?! I can't remember what I was dreaming, but it must have been something weird, I mean, knowing myself.

I fell off my bed... what kind of psycho-somatic dream must I have?

Sweet Dreams, Lazer Cats, and Bert and Ernie

I shall start this post, by saying that this was just a dream... If this had been an actual event... well, let's just say it would make heck of headlines ... if you or anyone you know is portrayed in this dream, all I have to say is... sorry.

So the dream begins with me, being Angie's helper. She is working at a newspaper, apparently, as a photographer and reporter, and I am like the achichincle, carrying her stuff, driving her everywhere... So we have to do this story on a scientist who lives on the far-side of town (jajajaja! I was gonna type "fat side of town"!) with his wife, who is this blond Farrah-Fawcett look-a-like... with longer hair. The house is like this big igloo type of house and the terrain is big, with trees and sunflowers. So, we get to the house (white walls and a purple top) and the guy welcomes us, and gives us coffee and starts talking about his latest inventions and all. Then the guy's wife walks into the kitchen, telling us that she is going to prepare some cupcakes, when Angie turns to me and says "oh my god! do you know who this guy is?" and I go, "well, yeah... he just told us, he's an inventor" "No, you stupid monkey!" and then she pulls out this photo of Bert and Ernie (from Sesame Street) and there is the picture of two other guys there with them. "this guy KNOWS this!" she says. What the heck does he know?

Well, turns out that the guy there knows who the REAL Bert and Ernie are, and that those two guys in the picture with Bert and Ernie are actually KGB spies who had been shot dead by this guy here. Well, the guy finds out that we're on to  him, right? and he starts telling us that we're now going to be persecuted by the government because we know who he is and who Bert and Ernie are... and then, the CIA breaks into the house and starts shooting at everyone... The wife of the guy gets blown in the face while me and Angie are trying to get away. So, Angie goes for the car while I am dodging bullets and using my left hand like a ping-pong tablet and returning the bullets! Yeah, datz right! I have this superpower -- apparently I can dodge bullets very a-la-matrix AND bounce them off my hands like ping pong balls! It only reminded me of that comic book, Wanted.. yeah, coz next thing I know, I am taking a rifle and start shooting at people and NOT missing... and not reloading, which is f--ed up to begin with. So, we get the scientist guy, his wife, me and angie into the car, and we are driving away as fast as we can, I'm hanging from the window, shooting people up and down the place, and angie is driving backwards! We want to get the scientist guy's wife to a doctor, but we're pretty sure that any doctor we take her in we're done for.... so we decided to take her to this place that is close to my aunt Gaby's house.. it's a private practice office...

So, inside, everything is as regular as always. Outside, it's me, and the bullet rain. We get there and it's like a scene from mission impossible to get the woman inside... but once we're in, I transform into my avatar form-me-shape from Rock Band... and sit next to the front desk. While they're tending to the woman, I look at the door and here comes the Clown Possee... yeah, that disturbin rock group with clown faces? And i get mah rifle... and the nurse goes all " do you know these people?" And I say "yeah... they're my sworn enemies!!" and start shooting at them. So, I kill the clowns and go outside. The CIA is still after me and angie because we know too much. So we need emo. "Everything would be so damn easier if we had lazer cats!" Angie says and I go thinking... "well, I think Guille is a lazer cat, her momma had the gene..." so off to Suky's house we go to CAT-NAP Guille. But on the way there, I wonder tha tmaybe one of Guille's cat-friends might be able to substitute guille... and on the way we find Mr Fluffy Boots, a black cat who is so fluffy it's unbelivable. so, Mr fluffy Boots is caught and as soon as Angie sets him out to be Lazer cat, stupid cat dies. I go all mad, "you're suppose to tug his tail, not his NECK!" and we're in the car, wondering how in the heck are we gonna nap Guille... so, we decided to kidnap Guille's spawn, Prue.

We grab Prue and tie her up. While I am doing this, Angie is writing a RANSOM note... "How the fuck are you writing a ransom note TO A CAT?!" I yell. she looks at me and says, "DHU!! It's not like I'm writing it in ENGLISH, Stupid!! I Know how to write CAT!!" and continues writing the thing... in CAT. so, we take Prue and tie her up to a string and hope that Guille knows how to read cat.. oh! but first we test Prue to see if SHE is a lazer cat.. she's not. Then, Angie tells me she's going to go to the store to get some doritos and I am waiting there, when all of a sudden, here comes Guille, looking all The Good the Bad and the Ugly, with a dorito bag in her mouth, which she spits to one side, looking at me like "you DARE take MY kid --- BIATCH?!" and I know for a fact that Angie has been turn to toast because Guille IS a Lazer cat...

.... and then I woke up....

Weird dreams and bad vodka

I tell you -- sometimes I think my mind drinks without me knowing. Do humans have the same suspicious things all the time?

I've been having these weird dreams. Yesterday's dream was that I was teaching at a public school... but I was half horse. I mean, in the dream, I KNEW I was half horse, but you saw me and I was normal, you know --- HUMAN? but I swear, I was half horse. Anyway, in the dream, I ran (like when you're a kid and you run as if you were ridding a horse?) from my house to my sister's job (because I was going to give her cake --- ) and then I RAN back to the school I was teaching at -- all this while listening to the KLAQ morning show, okay? So here I am, running (because as I've said, I was HALF horse) and I get to the school and my class has to sing in a baseball stadium a song by the Foo Fighters I've never heard of. But get this: they're playing AIR INSTRUMENTS that HAVE SOUND. And then I take a look at the kids -- yeah, they're the kids from "School of Rock", okay?

I tell you --- sometimes...

At school they're going to teach us how to use the new system. Now, instead of giving Gloria the grades, we'll just upload them into the computer. Here's the dealbreaker (for me): the computers that we are going to use for this procedure? Only two... FOR THE ENTIRE SCHOOL. And they're both in the little cramped room at Control escolar, I mean... How f-ed up is that? So they're going to teach us how to use it because apparently we're to dumb to figure it out. We have to learn all these new codes.

I need to go to the store. Mikuni needs new sand for her box. It's all full of poop and pee.

Mikuni, BTW is nuts.

I have finished the VIDDHEA story! At LAST! Cover and all -- I LOVE it. I don't care what anyone else says, I loooove how this story went out. Now, I shall submit it to a lit. contest here in Mexico in hopes to win (if not the grand prize, at least the recognition of someone)

:))

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