There is no Rockband in Heaven...

Today, me and my friends went out to eat 6-bucks fatties, and it wasn't until an hour or two later, on our way downtown to buy some yarn, that the conversation turned into the day.

It's Ash Wednesday. Translation: we shouldn't have gone to eat fatties. Why? Because we looooove them fatties with pork. Asadito and pork. Yeah! We had them and enjoyed every SINGLE bite out of them. One of my friends (S, the one who acts like our spiritual conscience once and a while -- and we luuuuv her for it) was gasping at the realization of the day. "It's Ash Wednesday!"
"Yes," I said. "And you're going to hell."

The subsequent question was the "WHY?" Because of the pork, of course. We are going to hell because of the pork... but me and Mr God -- we already knew that we were going to hell in the first place, me for being a pagan and him for being a red-communist atheist, right? So, we're telling her how she is going to go there, eating fatties while festering on the pot next to ours.

She wasn't all that thrilled. She wanted to go to heaven, she said. Then, the conversation turned into "heaven is boring." All the cool people are in hell. Lennon is in hell, Harrison is in hell... Hendrix is in hell... and-and all the gays you've ever love? They're in hell too!Probably the only main-stream artist who has died and is NOT in hell is Michael Jackson because then you would have to send all those pedophilia priests to hell too or else it just wouldn't be fair. So MJ is in heaven... "because he likes children".

She then stated, "but I want to be where God is. And God is in Heaven!". At to which I pointed out: "well, technically, God is EVERYWHERE -- so, God's in hell too!!" and even if this IS a good point, she still wasn't convinced of the stature of hell. It was still too enticing to see herself jumping around from cloud to cloud, flapping her pretty little angelic wings. Then, I said. "There is no Rockband in Heaven."

 True. Rockband is the Devil's tool. It makes your spirit and  brain sell itself to satan's music (basically). So, there is no Rockband in heaven... hell, there's no BEATLES Rockband in heaven because Lennon is in hell. Maybe you'll get a christian Rockband, but then again, one cannot sing "Foreplay", or "Carry on my Wayward Son," or "You Oughtta Know," or "Paranoid," in that version of the game.

There is no rockband nor vodka. There is no sensation of feeling ALIVE because there is no fear. There is no VH1, not Junk TV and no porn. There is no sense of self-encouragement and no self-esteem (because you don't need it). There are no six-bucks fatties. There is no place for questioning faith nor no place to ever doubt the word of the Lord as something that CAN (and has) failed. There is no expectations because you already know that bliss is around you and you do not need to find it, there for there is no meaning to existence. There is no sense in being the best at something, and there is no need to feel anything. All you feel is love. And all you ever are is happy. And with light all around you, how can your soul shine if there is no darkness?

There is no rockband in heaven, my darlings. And for that, there is no ash in my head today.