30 days of truth... Day 18

Day 18

Your views on gay marriage

I don't believe in the institution of marriage --- but if two people claim to love each other that much, then so be it.

Some say that allowing two gay people to marry, you destroy the institution... I think the institution was pretty much destroyed in the first place. The human heart is not capable to love someone "'till death". You either get used to be with that person or you grow sick and tired of them and being gay has nothing to do with that.

So, if two women or two men want to screw their lives over, jump off a bridge, and get married, it's their God-given right to do so.

Retaking 30 days of truth

Haven't finished the 30 days of truth scenario.. I left at day 16...

30 DAYS OF TRUTH

Day 17

A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Man! This one's hard... Books have always been a part of my family's life. My parents made sure we read a book -- o though, I do believe that my sister reads more than I do... but overall, I would have to say that the book that changed my points of view has to be La Rebelion de los Brujos by Jacques Bergier... and from the same author, Los Libros Condenados. These books are the main reason I stopped going to church and started questioning everything that the preacher said. Later, Michael Godwin's "Angels: An Endangered Species" and the Graphic Novel, "Operacion Bolivar" by Edgar Clement gave me a whole different view on religion, spirituality and - in turn - made me a saner, more "together" me. 

The Last Day of School

Today is officially the last day of school. Such joy and rapture to feel freedom just around the corner. But the day started as hectic as can be! Went to bed at 3 a.m. making my niece's candy boxes for the birthday party and making the candy I am going to give my coworkers here. Then, woke at 5:30 a.m. to cook the dish I was going to bring to the office party and by the time that was done, took a shower then headed to the supply store to get the rest of the stuffies needed for party. now, I am all sleepy and with no chance of catching a nap during the day. Tomorrow, the TKT examination takes place, so I will return to school to set everything up. Which reminds me --- I need to get a videocamera.

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30 Days of Truth.... Day 15

Today is a beautiful day. Not cold, not warm, a perfect weather to go to the park and sleep. If only I was with company jejejejeje.... but alas, I have no sleeping partner as of lately so my endevours of sleeping like a hobo in the park have to be done all lonesome. But Rainy, surely you kid! It's so dangerous! Yeah, well--- if I must die I might as well do it doing something I love.

I am quite nervous because on saturday the TKT exams are gonna be done and I am still to contact three teachers who do not pick up their phones or they have moved to another home... or do not answer their e mails. I shall keep trying!! I swear!

I have received all these contests for literature and I have gladly posted them here. I want to participate in one but I am still awaiting the resolvement for it in another contest. Tempted to send it anyway. What is there to lose?

Day 15

Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Sex.

30 Days of Truth... Day 14 (Falling out of Bed day)

Today I woke up because once again, I was falling out of bed. Only this time, I actually woke in the middle of the falling, so I do hurt. It was funny, though. I started thinking that all the stuff that never happened to me as a kid happened this year. Falling out of bed was one of them... but if I had to make a TOP 5, falling out of bed wouldn't be No. 1. Probably a close 2nd, but not No. 1 So, in this inspiration, I will prepare a TOP 5 THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO RAINY THIS YEAR THAT HAD NOT HAPPENED TO HER DURING HER THIRTY-SOMETHING YEARS OF LIFE. I think you would be surprised at the list... or disgusted, I can't figure it out.

I am downloading a new project now. Downloading Cardcaptor Sakura. I thought there were more episodes! No, only 70 of them! :D That means I could probably download them before I leave on Christmas vacation, yeeey!!! I was gonna do the same for Sailor Moon, but that's just too greedy of me... is it? coz I could probably just donwload the movies... I am such a geek! (yes, but a cute one!!)

So yesterday, I posted day 13 of 30 Days of truth... today is day 14.. and it's kind of a tough one... coz to this day, my hero hasn't let me down.

Day 14

A hero that has let you down.

As I've stated above, my hero - my mother - has not let me down. She is a super awesome lady... who sometimes can be a little cookie, but all the stuff she did, not only for me and my sister, but for everyone around her.... and the fact that she is hearing-impaired, that makes her my extra-superduper hero. I wish I could do half of the stuff she did. But, this hero has not let me down. My father, on the other hand, was my childhood hero and little by little, his deeds started to let me down to the point in which that he ceased to be my hero alltogether. Maybe he did what all father does, and loved me and my sister, and at a time he did loved my mother, but there are things said and done that cannot be erased as easily. 

So, mommy hero... still there. Daddy hero? Not so much. I love them both 

30 Days of Truth... Day 13...

Oh how marvelous that the weekend came and how marvelous that everything is running smoothly again. I just hope that this streak of good luck continues and that the Powers that Be still continue to be by my side.

Now, let us continue through the journey that is the 30 days of truth...

Day 13

A Band or Artist that has Gotten You Through some Tough Ass Days

I feel sort of juvenile writing a letter to my band... so I'll just explain why this band has gotten me through some of the toughest things in my life.

Most of the people who know me would think, "oh yeah, she's gonna say why the Beatles are so great..." and yes, even though I am a beatles fan, I have to admit, they are not the ones who have gotten me through the rough parts of this life of mine. The one band that has achieved that is none other than the great 80's glam slam band... Poison.

Through thick and thin, Poison's songs have brought me back from the land of the dark. Whenever I feel down or whenever a big problem is making me lose sleep, all I do is put my mp3 on and lay me some Poison... songs like Stay Alive, Cry Tough, Ride the Wind, and Life Loves a Tragedy have made me stronger in adverse times. For a broken heart (or when I remember that someone who has gone away), I heal it with Life goes on or I won't Forget You...and for those days when I like to drive my car and pump up the volume to remind me of who I am and to feel free as an eagle, I like to listen to Nothing but a good time, Tragically Unhip or Let it Play... So, Poison has seen me through some tough situations.. and has made me feel good about things that go on in my life.

For that reason, here are some samples of their songs. Maybe the links to Youtube will fall over time... but the songs... they'll live on forever.

The Wise words of a good friend

Today I trully thanked my angel again, for he has spoken through the lips and words of a good friend -- "they don't need to know". By this time tomorrow I will be relieved that all the nightmarish shinannigans is over and maybe one day --- a far, far away day, I will spill the overall madness that has been this TKT endevour. For now, let me just relax and take in whatever will come.

After all, it's only kinky the first time out!

To know that I have been taken under consideration for non-stop classes is good. I mean, I thought there wasn't gonna be anything from January to February but I came to find out that I will be taking over a class in January, thus my income will be continuing to flow during the harsh winter shades and storms. That makes  me sort of happy, because that means that they still want me around here. Now, the true question is, do I still want to be around here?


Truth be told, I miss being around in the morning. I think I'm getting lazy. And I just remembered I have to do something so I better get this done quickly!!! OMG!!!

Something you never get compliments on.

... Interesting question, because I usually get compliments (even one) on every aspect of my life... even my wardrove gets compliments once in a while! :D At home! Yes! I never get compliments at home when I get off the couch and clean the entire house! It even smells like lemony scent and nothing! My cat doesn't even say a Miau-thanks! Heck! When I clean her litter box? Nada! No thanks from her behalf!!

:D

Imagine... Imagine that!

Yesterday.... was the 30th (?) anniversary of the passing of John Lennon... I think that this has been one of the few moments in which I had seen my father cried. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking, because I have a swiss cheese brain.

Today, I gave the award of the best guardian angel of the year to Kal and Raz. I mean, they earned it! After what has been nothing but problems, finally the right track seems to be getting under way. I thank both these wonderful creatures that decided to take me under their wing! Thank you! Thank you!!

My niece is very excited about her birthday party next weekend. She even said that my party candy bags were awesome and was very impressed by them. I have to admit, it felt very good.... Not so good as she implieed that her mother (my sister) didn't know how to make them -- that felt a little bad because I didn't mean to make sis feel bad... Sorry sis!!! Next time, I'll teach you!

Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

I think that people seem to compliment me the most on my work efforts and skills. I often hear how wonderful I handle my department, how great that I got this or that going for English, or how good I am with students. I am also very complimented with my creativity inside and outside the classroom. I think that in everything we do in life, creativity is the No. 1 ingredient, followed closely by passion for what you do. 

Not too shabby for a Panda with no opposable thumbs! :D 

Right now I am in a place I wish I wasn't. But I have no one else to blame but myself and my stupid brain. So, I pray to the Goddess to aid me in this situation and make a vow not to allow myself to get so sloppy again. EVER again. My fate rests in the hands and hearts of a few and I really need the good vibrations that everyone has always send over my way. Dear my! I wish I was someone else at some other time right now! I wish I could just slip a few days or years --- in a comma... and then wake up and find out that everything went according to plan, smooth, no flaws, nothing to worry about. And the thing is that this would be much easier to carry if I had someone to tell me "it's gonna be okay"... other than Kalavan, that is, who even when I know he means well, it's not the same as having a mortal person hold you and tell you these words.

How important it is to have someone by your side in difficult situations! I've never seen this this way, but how true it is. The burden would be so much smoother. And it's not like I don't have friends or family whom I can rely on... but then enter my stupid brain again, who tells me that they have enough problems of their own than to carry on with mine. Either way, I hope I have all things worked up by the end of the day. I have one more card to play and I intend to put on my sad puppy eyes and go with it. At any case, I'm already in deep.

30 Days of Truth -- Day 10

Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know

This one is quite easy. And I know that if he or someone related to him reads this, they're gonna go "oh, you bitch!! after all you did!!!" but to tell the truth, he is half of my life's mistake. The other half, I believe, is dead. The first one I have to add here is Andrew S. Hubbard. I needed to let go and I wish I didn't know him. Why? Several reasons. Mainly is the reason that he believes we're meant to be together --- but I need someone who can stand by me and be the strong one, not someone who needs a constant reminder of my love and devotion towards them. I loved him one, yes, with all my heart and soul... but I don't need a drag down when my wings are much too big and need to fly --- and I don't need someone who will put me through an emotional rollercoaster (or a sentimental blackmail) just to "stay together". Plus, I don't need to carry on the label that he will have to carry for the rest of his life and he knows why (I will not discuss it here). As for the other half, the one I believe is dead, is Alex Blair, or Brian Bradley, or however he wishes to be called. I was told he is dead, so I believe he is. And the thing is that he took something from me -- something that I have yet to build again and I believe I will never regain. So, if he's reading this, for however reason, I ask that he returns what he took because I think I need it to move on. Please.

Si yo pudiera haber sabido

lo que seria de mi alma y mi vida

despues de haberte conocido....

 

Thirty Days of Truth. Day 9

I don't know what is going to happen next week but I already want it to be over. I mean, it's one of those things that I will be happy once it's done and stuff. The bad part is that once it's over, my boss will want to make a big fuzz over it and I am pretty sure the teachers involved won't want to. God willing, I will see if I can help out.

Yesterday, the sister, the brother in law and this panda went to see the new Harry Potter movie. I loved this movie, much more than the last two movies.... and we're now anxiously waiting for the last movie. I hope it doesn't dissappoint. We want the scene where Snape tells Dumbledore that he still loves Lily to be there... sooo romantic! :)

30 Days of  Truth

Day 9

Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

I think that most of the people in your life fall under this category at one time or another. In my case, I would have to say that most of my friends from college fall here. And we drifted because that's how it's supposed to be. Life, experiences, and ways of bending towards our goals leads us to drift away... the important thing is to keep in touch, even if it's just for a little while, just to make sure you're okay. That's why I find Facebook so wonderful. I got to get back in touch with friends who had long ago driften from my life.

If there is one person in this world who I am sad to see leave is Elva. She was my best friend from high school and due to bad desicions made in her life, she ended-up in a place not many of us want to go. I reached out and tried to rekindle that friendship, but it takes two to tango, and it seemed to me that I was the one making all the efforts for the friendship to go on. And now, even when our phones are still the same, and we live in the same places, it still surprises me how easy it is for me to dial her number, but how difficult it is for her to do the same.

"Friends do come and go but only a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to work the bridges of gography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young".

  

30 Days of Truth... Day Seven

I promise this is the last time I change this blog's clothes...it's just that each time more and more cute templates come out!!! Plus, I added SNOW!!! Move your mouse, the snow follows you!!! :D

Today is Turkey Day... I will not call it thanksgiving because I live in Mexico and in Mexico is Turkey Day... for reals! You can see the adds in stores... "Dia del Pavo" as if turkey was so important, it needs its own day... yes, you are a turkey, today is your day and what do we do on your day? We have a parade for you, we have several of your cousins on TV, we watch football and then we eat you, you yummy turkey!!!

I am already looking for some recepies for the turkey on Christmas... or should I say "for Christmas"? Because even if I am not Christian nor practice Catholisism, my family does. So, I will cook the dinner BUT I also want to do a yule log. I want so many things --- but most importantly, I am happy to say that at least MY season of Season songs has begun!! :D I do love the christmas songs! :D Today, my angel woke me up with Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer on the radio and as if he wanted me to keep in bed listening to songs, all my favorites came on... XD Thank you Kalavan!

So, we come to face day seven on my thirty days of truth.... I know, I'm taking my own sweet time with these, but trust me, I will go through with 30 days of truth... and then some.. jajajajajaja!!!

Some people have asked me why did I erase the "Into the Mind of a Panda" blog. Well, I figure, I will have all my thoughts and things in one blog. I am, after all, panda, writer, teacher, friend, and lunatic all in one fluffy being. So shall be mah blog. Besides, it's fun.

Okay, on to day six... or seven? Yeah! day Seven!

Someone who has made your life worth living for.

 

My cat... LOL!!! I kid, I kid... I think that everyone I meet has made my life worth living for at one point or another. I cannot really say who is who in my list, but I can assure that every single person who has ever come across my path has a place in my life. Whether is good or bad, well, that's really up to the person and how they treat me... 

 

Maybe it's because I am still to find that "special someone" who makes my heart go tick-tock and gives me reasons to believe in true love and romance. Who knows! All I know is that i enjoy living in the here and now, and I love having all those wonderful people enjoying the ride along with me. 

 

 

30 Days of Truth... Day Five

Oh my gosh! Day five already.... I would like to say that I am thrilled that my book has finally arrived and that I am bragging it to everyone coz... it's been ten years in the making! I have to brag!!!

Okay, so let's get down to business... and Let me begin with my 30 days, day 5....

Something you hope to do in your life.

I was going to say "publish" but that has been taken care of. And I don't want to have children, at least not for now... so, I will start this part with the things I want to do in my life.

I hope to travel. It's one of the things I want to do... go to Russia, Japan, Canada, France... and go like those people on the PBS programs, where they go to the little places? Yeah... that's something I hope to do in my life...

....... and meet interesting people....... and maybe fall in love again.....

30 Days of Truth... Day Four

Day Four of these 30 days of truth....and I couldn't be happier. I decided to fuse both journals into one. So, expect me to write in both english and spanish, depending on what the situation might be. In this case, I shall continue with my English writing as I bring to you my 30 days of truth segment.

Before I forget! I went to see Harry Potter and the Deadly Hollows last  night @ the Juarez premiere. Adi, Ish, Suky, and David were there with me and we all had a good time! The movie is excellent and I cannot wait untill the next part comes along! I want to go see it again before they take it away from the theatre!!!

Okay then, now on to the 30 days of truth part. And this one is quite the heavy loaded one...

 

Something you have to forgive someone for

Yikes!! This is... wow. I mean, I think I have a lot of baggage consernign this one. Something I have to forgive someone for. Well, if I had forgiven them, I wouldn't write about it... but here we go. 

I think  forgiveness is the first step one takes to actually start loving yourself more. In my case, I need to forgive words that were once said but never thought out. I know that sometimes we say things we don't mean or we don't realize how deep we're cutting others. I need to forgive all those times when people have commited this crime against me, o though sometimes it seems so  hard to do.

Other people I need to forgive are those annoying people that wake me up at 3 in the morning to remind me that I owe them money. Yes, I do realize it's part of your job, but honestly? waking me at 3 won't make me pay you a whole damn faster. You'll get your money when you get your money!!!

I need to forgive Angelina Jolie for snatching Brad Pitt... I mean, Jennifer had it coming and plus, who the fuck cares...

Other than this, I think me and the universe are okay. Karma will pay itself one way or the other....

30 Days of Truth.... DAY THREE

I am writing the third day even if I do realize that I have skipped ONE day. Yesterday was no-tech day for me, so no day of truth... BUT today I return, not only with DAY THREE, but with a new design for my 30 days of truth.

Today is Tuesday -- and I am in the mood for cookies!!! Yesterday was sort of cool since I got to do a lot of writing and a lot of thinking about what I wanted to do next year and what I want to do this year for Christmas Dinner. I am thinking of adapting the menu to something new and spicy. I shall share the recipe as soon as I have it.

I also tried to contact Mr Larios via phone. And I say "tried" because stupid phone wouldn't hook up.... or I dunno if he could hear me, coz I sure couldn't hear him! Anyway, I desisted of the try after the 4th time... Maybe at some point during the week I shall try again. Maybe when it's not too windy. Or when I am done with morning classes... I don't know. All I know is that I sure was happy to hear him say "heeey you!!! How are you!!" the last time we spoke and then it was nothing more than static. Oh pshwaaa!!!

Something you have to forgive yourself for

I really don't have anything that could fall into this category... Truth be told, I haven't done things in which I can say, "oh my god! I need to forgive myself for this!!". Call me shallow, but that's just the way things roll with me!

I honestly think that once you reach this point in your life, then you can start living life to the fullest. to what point? To the point in which you do the things you love because YOU want to to them not because others point to you what you should do. Of course, the rules on which you have to abide to - the main one being "harm none" - will direct you to the greater path and all... but very few people get to this point. I am only glad that I have reached it sooner than later in life. 

 

http://projectforgiveness.blogspot.com/

 

30 Days of Truth.... DAY TWO

Okay, so it's day TWO in this challenge. Again, if you just joined me, this challenge got picked up on miss Cattra Shadow's blog, Reflections under the Magical Tree. The key here is to tell the undeniable truth about yourself for thirty days. I am up to day TWO.

You can copy-paste the days and their objective on DAY ONE post... if you DARE!!

So, here we go, let's move on to THIRTY DAYS OF TRUTH, DAY TWO!!!

Day Two: Something You Love About Yourself.

I love my sense of humor. I do. I love how I can look at a situation and find the silver light, even when it seems there is none. I think it's one of my better traits, the way I can  bring a laugh to anyone at any given time.I think laughter is the healthiest way to carry on with the burdens of life -- any one of them. So, if I can contribute to making your cross a little less heavy by making you laugh about it, by God, I will make you PEE!!! :D

30 Days of Truth.... DAY ONE

Cattra @ Reflections at the Magical Tree is doing this particular challenge and I climbed on board now.

But I thought if Ya'll wanted to do it I would give you a place on my blog to find the questions for you to use... Various bloggers I follow have done this challenge. I have no idea where it originated, or who did, but now I'm jumping on the bandwagon, in an effort to get back to posting. So feel free and take this journey with us...awaaaaaayy we go...

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

 Something You Hate About Yourself

I actually hate two things about myself. The first one is that I am one of those people who are pretty much involved in the process but find it very hard to finish once I'm started. I like to start proyects, books, stories, relationships... but find it very hard to end them or to get to the point where I can say "that's it, It's done!" or something. Even now, I am having a hard time writing this piece of blog. So, I love getting started, but when I need to finish... that's a whole 'nother spiral.


The second thing I hate is that I cannot take a compliment. Don't know how. I am so embarrassed when someone says "I like your shirt!" or "You look pretty today" I just want to hide under a rock and stay there. Seriously. I don't think I deserve them and even if I do, I don't know how to take them. And you'll probably read this and roll your eyes and say "Rainy, please!!! You're sooo not that person!!" but I am. So, don't take it personal next time you compliment me and I don't say anything or take my own sweet time thanking you. It's not YOU --- it's me.