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And I'm back

Hello there. Glad to see all of you again. I am back. I am planning to keep this blog up and running again for the sole reason that I need a way to spill everything out or else I will go insane.

I have opted to take in a new job. Three weeks in and I am already regretting it. Not because it's hard. It's because I hate wishy-washy people and the owners of the school are just that. I guess I should have seen it coming when the other school's coordinators sort of gave me this look that said, oh you poor soul. I will need to get out of there as soon as I can. Really. Like, waiting for a better offer or something.

I honestly want to cry. Like, severely. I want to just cry and cry and just drink a bucket of poison and get the fuck thing over with. I guess I have been dealing with all this baggage and I don't know what to do with it. Or without it. Isn't that strange? I think that the more I don't want to deal with it, the more I have to deal with it. But I never believed in psychologists. And I never believed in talking about my problems with other people. So, basically, I feel like I am severely screwed.

But let's review what is enstored for me tomorrow:
1. Sarahi, the other director, getting pissed because of the dentists who can't go. It's not really my fault that they can't do this. Is it? But in a way and in their view, it is.
2. The whole planning thing. I got stuck with crappy lazy teachers or I am the one who is not hard enough on them? I need guidance. From someone who tells me how to do things and how to say the right things. Like, seriously. And I need to feel less like a moth and more like a person. I don't know.
3. The whole superhero thing? This is just so that the owner gets her PhD and it fucks with my mind.
4. I fucking hate my life at this point.

What do I want to do?

Get writing. And outside HO. I want to write my crap. And I need to start feeling like I can do things. OR else I think I might just blow my brains out and go visit John Lennon for a while. 

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