First Day at School --- The Morning Show

First day of school. The new semester is here and the students are well on their way to failing the class. Why? They didn't show up.

Okay, being totally unfair there. ONE of them showed.

I think my afternoon class will be a little bit more hectic. But if not, what reasons does a student have not to show for a class?

TOP 5 REASONS STUDENTS DON'T SHOW UP TO CLASS

5. Dog ate my homework, my clothes, my car, my breakfast...

4. Classss? I don't neeeed no steeeeeenking classs!

3. My mom did not wake me, nor did she put the alarm clock so that I could be awaken. My mom did not want me to come, see?

2. I waited for you at the cantina, but you never showed, teacher!

1. I forgot to mention, dog ate my brain.

Woof woof!

STUPID NEWS OF THE DAY

HARDCORE PORN INTERRUPTS SUPER BOWL IN ARIZONA ... So the Arizona Cardinals finally make it to the Superbowl, and those watching in Tucson couldn’t see the end of the game…

Hardcore porn, though, now that's another story. According to Comcast Cable, an adult movie channel interrupted their feed right after Larry Fitzgerald scored to [temporarily] give Arizona the lead. A spokesperson for Comcast Cable said she has “no idea” how the porn got into their feed. They were still trying to figure it out last night..


OH MY GOD!!!!
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE FLAMES --- AND THE FREAKED-OUT LOOK ON PEOPLE'S FACES!