Powered by Blogger.
RSS

Porcelain --- Chapter 3 --- Shake Me

Porcelain

Chapter 3: Shake me


The sight of Carol as she stepped out of the airplane and into the chair area was like blessings to a dry land. Tension had been growing between J.J. and Dee, both at work and off work. Dee’s bad temper had become infamous amongst the underworld, so much so that it was said that if Dee was on your tail, you’d better pray that someone else got to you first. For the most part, J.J. had been the only one who still managed to survive Dee’s tantrums, yet this was beginning to feel like a burden even to him.

Carol hugged Dee tightly as she flung her arms around him and laughed. “Dee! I missed you so much!” she cheered. She turned her attention to J.J. “Hi J.J., how are you?” she hugged the shorter man.

“I’ve been surviving Dee,” J.J. said giving Dee a slightly dirty look. Dee grunted.

“It’s called payback for all the hell you put me through at the Academy. Com’on, let’s get your bags,” he said. Carol walked between them, both arms holding each man’s arm. She talked on and on about her trip to California, and how the sun and the sea had done wonders for her and her mood. She even talked about a boy named Joshua.

“Joshua?” J.J. asked as Dee silently picked up Carol’s bag from the carrier. “Where you meet?”

“I met him at the beach, the second day I was there. I was walking on the beach and he called out because his beach ball had bounced off the court him and his friends where playing at. He invited me to play, but as soon as I started to do it I realized just how badly I suck at beach volleyball. After that, we talked and he walked me over to my hotel… and the next morning, there he was, waiting to see if I would come out. We hung out and he showed me around, and stuff. He’s really nice.”

“Maybe we’ll meet him one day, hum?” J.J. smiled. Carol winked.

“He’s coming to New York in three weeks.”

Dee growled. “What for?” he asked.

“He’s visiting his parents here.” Carol replied noticing the tension in Dee’s voice. She then turned back to J.J., “He lives in California with his aunt, but he comes to New York at least thrice a year to visit the mother ship.”

“Neat!” J.J. grinned.

“So, he’s gonna visit them and me while he’s at it!” Carol clapped.

They took J.J. home before arriving to the apartment they shared on the other side of town. The place was not too big, not too small, and they had been roommates ever since Carol’s aunt passed away, leaving Carol with no family to turn to but Dee. On the other hand, Dee had no one to call his family except the orphanage children and nun, and even they couldn’t understand or help him with the inner hell he was going through. So he welcomed Carol to his life and had been taking care of her for the last three years.

As soon as the door opened, Carol noticed the blipping light on the telephone’s answering machine. She rushed to it and pressed play. Hello Carol, it’s me, Josh… I was just calling to say hi and to see if you made it okay. Call you later, okay? Bye!

Carol smiled and erased. Dee had closed the door and dropped the bag next to the phone. “So – this Josh person…”

“Dee, don’t start,” Carol sounded tired. “He’s a friend – a good friend. He’s just calling to say hi and to see if I’m good, okay?”

“But he’s coming to New York in three weeks, ain’t he? And he’s calling all the way from California just to see if you made it okay, right?” Dee dropped to the couch and made his remarks with an acid tone. Carol stood there, her arms crossed to the front, looking at Dee as if he was some sort of spoiled brat who needed a spanking.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I’m just wondering if Mr. Wonderful there was just a friendly companion or if he was more like a friendly love-toy you got yourself there…”

“What if he is a love-toy?” Carol asked daringly. “I need to move on with my life, Dee. I’m sure Bikky would have wanted me to move on and not be all sad and down all my life, I’m twenty-one years old for Christ’s sake! You should do the same!”

She took her bag and the phone, and marched to her room closing the door behind her. Dee sighed.

Cold, I am so cold

I have been so long in here

They’ve opened the trunk

Where you hid me once

And this dust started to feel you


Sadly, I came home only to find out that in these past couple of weeks, Dee hasn’t changed.

I thought that by the time I came back he would have realized how much better life is when you let everything go. When you realize that the people who love you want you to move on with your life.

I miss Bikky. I do. Sometimes I can feel him next to me, especially when I feel alone. And I have loads of pictures of him to remind myself of his face and smile every time I feel down. He was always smiling around me – and he always made sure I smiled. He didn’t like to see me cry, that’s why I decided I wasn’t going to cry anymore. I cried when they told me, I cried at the hospital, I cried at the funeral, and I cried a few weeks after that. But then I saw those pictures and came to realize that crying wasn’t going to bring him back. So I stopped crying and began to live – for both of us.

Dee’s case is far more difficult, I think. He and Ryo didn’t speak much after Bikky’s death. Dee tried to talk to Ryo about it, but it was as if Ryo wanted to close the door between them, like he wanted to erase the past to make it less painful (I think). Then, when Ryo left, Dee just began grow this deep bitterness inside his heart. I know he blames himself for everything that happened, and I know he misses Ryo, even though he never talks about him; he hasn’t spoken Ryo’s name in over three years, as if Ryo never existed. He’s even gone as far as to make all of Ryo’s pictures and things disappear. Along those things, I think Dee began to disappear too.

I miss Dee…

Dry, I am so dry

That I won’t be able to give you a kiss

They’ve opened the trunk

Where you hid me once

And a bunch of bones start to warm-up

“Where are you?” the remains of an old heart ask with fear


Half-past midnight, Dee was sitting at that barstool, drinking the remainders of his sixth glass of whiskey, wishing he could still smoke indoors. He could hear the soft mumble of the television set on the far-end of the bar and the loud music coming from the jukebox. The place was not even close of being full, yet the few people who where there weren’t a bother and the bartender knew Dee as a regular so he just kept the whiskey coming. As Dee took a drink of his seventh glass, a tall, red-haired man sat next to him and ordered a shot of vodka.

“Hardcore drinker?” Dee asked, half smiling at himself for asking. The man turned to face him and smiled back. He was younger than Dee and had bright-green eyes that seemed to smile every time his lips did.

“I pretend to be just to look like a bad-ass in front of strangers. If it were up to me, I would have a tequila sunrise.”

“Ah! You like the girly drinks.”

“More like… I like the pretty colored drinks.” He extended his hand to Dee. “Alexander. You can call me Alex.”

“Dee. You can call me Dee,” he shook the other man’s hand briefly. Alex took his vodka shot and drank it whole.

“Damn, that’s nasty!” he coughed. He motioned the bartender to serve him another one.

“So, why are you drinking yourself stupid?”

“Nothing in particular, it’s just that when shit happens, you need more shit to cope, you know? So… we’ll just say that we both just need to deal with shit and we’ll pretend that this shit,” he raised his shot, “will make it better”

“You, sir, are correct,” Dee raised his glass. “Cheers!”

“Cheers it is…”

They both drank the contents of their glasses to the last drop. When the bartender came back, Dee said, “Another whiskey for me… and a tequila sunrise for my buddy here…”

The bartender nodded and proceeded to abide to the petition. Alex gave Dee an expression of pure curiosity. “I am your buddy now?” he asked.

“Anyone who comes to drink with me instantly becomes my buddy. Now, I don’t have many of those around, so you better take the offer and ‘fezz up on why you’re drinking yourself stupid tonight.”

Alex took the tequila sunrise and grinned. “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

Dee took one drink out of his whiskey and sighed. “Fare enough. Let’s see… I am a cop. Three years ago I was on duty, big-ass narcotics case… long story short, I shot the boy whom I had accepted as my son as he got caught in the crossfire. My partner… my life partner (who was my partner at work too) stopped talking to me and one day… he just… left. That’s why I am drinking myself stupid tonight. So, what’s your story?”

Alex rested his elbows on the barstool. “Gee… that’s a real tough one to top. But I’ll try nonetheless. Let’s see… I got dumped about a month ago, maybe two. I’m a teacher: I teach biology at Bowie High, or I should say I try to teach them biology. So the story starts with my girlfriend, Mirna, finding in my friend Mark the passionate love she, apparently, never had with me. To add insult to injury, I became very sick. I was taken to the hospital by my co-workers because I basically started convulsing and drooling in the middle of the classroom with all of my students freaking out, it was so embarrassing. Doctors tell me I have around four to five months to live if I follow the treatment word by word, but that means that I have to spend what’s left of my life in a hospital. So, I figure – I’m gonna do the stuff I never did, right? So, I got dressed, left the hospital, and here I am taking vodka shots instead of the girly drinks, in a crazy attempt to get as stupidly drunk as I can.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight; I’ll be twenty-nine in November… well… I would be twenty-nine in November if it wasn’t for the pesky little fact that November is six months away,” he started to laugh. Dee laughed too.

“And does your family know you took off? They’ll probably miss you when visiting time comes around.”

“No family. Dad’s gone. Mom was never there. I think I have an uncle in Vermont, but to tell the truth I never visited. Maybe it’s time I did, hum? As for visitors, I think the excessive amount of flower arrangements and fluffy teddy bears in my room is making me sicker: my students do love to send them flowers and bears… which is kind of ironic, seeing as I am a fluffy tigers kind of guy.”

Dee giggled as Alex drank what was left of the drink, placed the glass on the bar as he stood, and padded Dee on the shoulder. “I guess I should get going. It’ll be hard to get a taxi later on, especially one that doesn’t wanna kill you and take what little money you have just because you’re tipsy. See you around, Dee.”

He took a couple of steps before Dee called out. “I could take you…”

Alex turned. “But – you’re drunk,” he arched his eyebrow.

“So? You’re gonna die in four months anyway.” Dee shrugged his shoulders as he stood and walked next to Alex.

“Good point…”

Shake my life, my love

Remains should be still

Shake my life, my love

Remains like mine should not cry

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

0 comments:

Post a Comment