Sell Your Soul...

Baaah! Yesterday was an old-fashioned brawl between me and a teacher here who shall-remain-nameless but whom I shall call Annoying Brat... Marco for short.

The whole on line thing with the university has gotten some people's panties up in their crotch and somehow they're blaming me for it. In a way, I think that the fact that I am _actually doing_ things that I set out to do in the first place and that are now in their "harvest time" has gotten them all up in arms. But is it my fault that these people have been here longer than I have and have achieved to nothing? Heck no! I do what I do and I thrive on a challenge. So, Marco came yesterday, bitching and whining because there is going to be a meeting on the 16th (which is a day off according to the SEP calendar) of ONE HOUR TOPS for me to tell them how the new system is going to operate and stuff... and he's all up in arms because "I do not own his time" and "This is not even planned... they didn't even tell us about it! I didn't know about until yesterday a teacher told me...and asked me if I knew..." I told him that first of all, stop bitching and whining about it because I DID NOT SET THE DATE NOR THE TIME FOR THIS... and secondly? The English Dept. has been working with the on line format for a year-and-a-half now. It's not a "quickie", it's a format that has actually WORKED in our dept. And when the University's Head Dean asked if we were managing something akin to an on-line database, everyone said "no" and I said "yes"... so, is it my fault that the other depts. have not gotten into the technology groove? NO! So then he goes on to say that the school was always doing bogus things -- and that good projects like his Administration in English class was sitting on a desk for 4 years. I blew up at this. I said "If you wanted to give that class so much, why didn't you? Why did you wait until they said "yes" for you to take the reign of the horse and start driving the wagon? Do you think that they said yes to the on-line classes when I proposed them to the head dean two years ago? Heck no! Did that stop me from doing it? Heck no! If I was to wait until someone told me to do something, hell, not even the teaching courses would have taken off!! So, suck it up and shut the hell up. You say this university is bogus? You give classes in the Fucking CU for crying out loud!!! You CAN'T get more BOGUS than the CU!!! And all this that you didn't know? We had a meeting. Did you go? No! Why? I don't know -- most of the teachers where there! So, if you are the one with problems with the Academics coordinator, not my problem. If you cannot communicate with your own dept. colleagues, not my problem either. I do what I have to do for MY teachers, MY department to run as smoothly as I can, even against all the crap that sometimes I have to put up with. So, if you don't wanna come to that meeting, DON'T COME."

He was all red and pissed about it. He began telling me how he was a manager at some big-shot maquila and that what we were doing was jumping over processes that later would come and bite us. I told him to suck it up and be a man and that got him even more upset. But --- it's just surprising to me how the YOUNGER teachers around here are all up in arms about this thing and the ELDER teachers are all open and welcoming.

Here's a piece of advice to all teachers out there: Yes, technology WILL NEVER SUBSTITUTE A TEACHER... BUT a teacher who KNOWS how to USE technology WILL substitute one who doesn't. Move along with the times, people! You cannot expect to teach and be all static there, just waiting for the world to stop so you can catch up to it!

.... So, the song that started playing in my head yesterday was "Sell your Soul" by Hollywood Undead... Sometimes I do feel like this.

I'm holding on so tightly now,
my insides scream so loud
They can watchin',
watchin' me drown,
how did it come to this?

How did it come to this?
how did i know it was you?
it was a bad dream, asphyxiated watch me bleed
the life support was cut
the knot was too tight,
they push and pull but they know they'll never win!!

throw it all away! throw it all away!
I keep on screamin but theres really nothing left to say!
So get away, just get away!
I keep on fightin but i can't keep going on like this!

I can't keep going, can't keep going on like this,
and I get so sick of it,
cuz they wont let me, they wont let me breath,
why can't they let me be?

why can't they let me be?
why don't I know what I am?
I force this hate into my heart cuz its my only friend!
My lips are sewn shut!
I watch my self bleed...
they push and pull and its killing me within!!


I can't keep going, can't keep going on this way

My heart beat stumbles and my back bone crumbles
I feel is it real as the lynch mob doubles
they want blood and they'll kill for it,
drain me and they'll kneel for it
burn me at the stake met the devil made the deal for it,
guiteens dreams ya they're guiteen gleems,
the blood of they're enemies watchin while they sense me,
sentencing decease sentence decease and watch them bask in the glory of their holy disease

I keep on runnin,
i keep on runnin,
but i can't keep going on this way


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