Sweet Dreams, Lazer Cats, and Bert and Ernie

I shall start this post, by saying that this was just a dream... If this had been an actual event... well, let's just say it would make heck of headlines ... if you or anyone you know is portrayed in this dream, all I have to say is... sorry.

So the dream begins with me, being Angie's helper. She is working at a newspaper, apparently, as a photographer and reporter, and I am like the achichincle, carrying her stuff, driving her everywhere... So we have to do this story on a scientist who lives on the far-side of town (jajajaja! I was gonna type "fat side of town"!) with his wife, who is this blond Farrah-Fawcett look-a-like... with longer hair. The house is like this big igloo type of house and the terrain is big, with trees and sunflowers. So, we get to the house (white walls and a purple top) and the guy welcomes us, and gives us coffee and starts talking about his latest inventions and all. Then the guy's wife walks into the kitchen, telling us that she is going to prepare some cupcakes, when Angie turns to me and says "oh my god! do you know who this guy is?" and I go, "well, yeah... he just told us, he's an inventor" "No, you stupid monkey!" and then she pulls out this photo of Bert and Ernie (from Sesame Street) and there is the picture of two other guys there with them. "this guy KNOWS this!" she says. What the heck does he know?

Well, turns out that the guy there knows who the REAL Bert and Ernie are, and that those two guys in the picture with Bert and Ernie are actually KGB spies who had been shot dead by this guy here. Well, the guy finds out that we're on to  him, right? and he starts telling us that we're now going to be persecuted by the government because we know who he is and who Bert and Ernie are... and then, the CIA breaks into the house and starts shooting at everyone... The wife of the guy gets blown in the face while me and Angie are trying to get away. So, Angie goes for the car while I am dodging bullets and using my left hand like a ping-pong tablet and returning the bullets! Yeah, datz right! I have this superpower -- apparently I can dodge bullets very a-la-matrix AND bounce them off my hands like ping pong balls! It only reminded me of that comic book, Wanted.. yeah, coz next thing I know, I am taking a rifle and start shooting at people and NOT missing... and not reloading, which is f--ed up to begin with. So, we get the scientist guy, his wife, me and angie into the car, and we are driving away as fast as we can, I'm hanging from the window, shooting people up and down the place, and angie is driving backwards! We want to get the scientist guy's wife to a doctor, but we're pretty sure that any doctor we take her in we're done for.... so we decided to take her to this place that is close to my aunt Gaby's house.. it's a private practice office...

So, inside, everything is as regular as always. Outside, it's me, and the bullet rain. We get there and it's like a scene from mission impossible to get the woman inside... but once we're in, I transform into my avatar form-me-shape from Rock Band... and sit next to the front desk. While they're tending to the woman, I look at the door and here comes the Clown Possee... yeah, that disturbin rock group with clown faces? And i get mah rifle... and the nurse goes all " do you know these people?" And I say "yeah... they're my sworn enemies!!" and start shooting at them. So, I kill the clowns and go outside. The CIA is still after me and angie because we know too much. So we need emo. "Everything would be so damn easier if we had lazer cats!" Angie says and I go thinking... "well, I think Guille is a lazer cat, her momma had the gene..." so off to Suky's house we go to CAT-NAP Guille. But on the way there, I wonder tha tmaybe one of Guille's cat-friends might be able to substitute guille... and on the way we find Mr Fluffy Boots, a black cat who is so fluffy it's unbelivable. so, Mr fluffy Boots is caught and as soon as Angie sets him out to be Lazer cat, stupid cat dies. I go all mad, "you're suppose to tug his tail, not his NECK!" and we're in the car, wondering how in the heck are we gonna nap Guille... so, we decided to kidnap Guille's spawn, Prue.

We grab Prue and tie her up. While I am doing this, Angie is writing a RANSOM note... "How the fuck are you writing a ransom note TO A CAT?!" I yell. she looks at me and says, "DHU!! It's not like I'm writing it in ENGLISH, Stupid!! I Know how to write CAT!!" and continues writing the thing... in CAT. so, we take Prue and tie her up to a string and hope that Guille knows how to read cat.. oh! but first we test Prue to see if SHE is a lazer cat.. she's not. Then, Angie tells me she's going to go to the store to get some doritos and I am waiting there, when all of a sudden, here comes Guille, looking all The Good the Bad and the Ugly, with a dorito bag in her mouth, which she spits to one side, looking at me like "you DARE take MY kid --- BIATCH?!" and I know for a fact that Angie has been turn to toast because Guille IS a Lazer cat...

.... and then I woke up....


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