Sunday at the Depot

Today I write this to you from the Office Depot somewhere in the city I live in. They have detected two cases of piggie flu (not at depot...) and yes, none of them have to do anything with this panda... so far.

But there is only so much coffee you can drink, really.

No bars, no pools, no kareoke, no movies, no bowling alley, no disco, no nothing that gives this city's proud name of CIUDAD DEL PECADO!!! I mean com on! I know, I know. "Go to church"... but there is so much church this panda can take. Really. I ain't that hard core into church going.

(and I can see a certain tenshi go "Whaaaaaaaaa??")

So, there is only so much coffee I can drink. Sure, I can call one of my cancos and ask them to go and do the boom boom shake shake the room with me --- but then again, even THAT goes old really fast for me. So, here are a few tips you need to do when and if you are stuck in the same lame-ass situation, like me:

1. PLEASE DO NOT CALL YOUR EXes... bad idea. Particularly when you're drunk with boredom and vodka.

2. DO NOT DRINK WINE IN SHOWER... trust me... just... trust me...

3. EVEN IF IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA... DON'T. We get our worse ideas around these times, particularly the ones that later in life we say, "what the heck was I thinking!?"

4. Have porn available... really? Even porn looses it's shinny cover after a while. You start looking at things with the eye of an evil Tarantino director cut...

5. Thinking of getting and STD to brag to friends seems like a good idea at the time... but then again, we return to No. 3...


Speaking of wich, I wanna see Tarantino's new movie. Is it any good? Is the Wolverine movie any good? I want to know your scoop.

With love and kissis

XOXO

Gossip Panda

V Day Preview

Valentine's Day is the day when all those Super Bowl guys who paid no attention to their spouses and girlfriends can make it up

So, tomorrow is the V Day. When I used to work at elementary school, the V day extravaganza would start at midday and carry on 'till the kids' parents would pick 'em up at 2. And the teachers would be rolling in candy by the time it was over. Oh yes - the glorious days of Valentine's Day's candy/chocolate are now in the past, as university/college students won't consider bringing a little lollipop. I got one today, but it was so little I didn't even notice the flavor.

(Thank you, Miss Izza, for bringing yummy lollipop to me)

For this reason, my level III English students are taking their Unit 1 - 2 quiz. They take the quiz today, they have a relaxed weekend, and then on Monday they'll sing the not-so-happy song of "The Quiz was too hard!" They sometimes forget how good they are, you know? I mean, they do GREAT in the class, they do their homework, they participate, and they speak the language fairly good (at least they don't sound like an underpaid "Viva Hollywood" character...) But when quiz time gets here, they get nervous and I wish I could help them out but there are limits to my aid during quizzes.

I believe they will do great on this one. They've been a great bunch of people.



And what better way to celebrate V Day than to pre-order a very special gift for that special someone in your life, right?

Here in Juarez, we have solved the problem of thinking what to get that someone. Do you give flowers? Naah! They dry! Now about some jewelry? Naah! It'll get stolen! Clothes? Are you kidding? Chocolate? What if that someone is on a diet or something?

NO!! BEER IS THE OPTION!


That's right. Cerveza Victoria celebrates St Valentine's Day by offering their consumers the VALENTINE'S DAY BUCKET OF BEER! Door-delivered on Valentine's Day, arranged with balloons and all... 12 beers. What better way to say I love you?? Why be like all the other guys and give that person you love something everyone else already gives! No sir! Beer! Beer is the secret of love, romance, and a lot of guys and girls hooking up.

It's like the Old West out here...

Ye Old boys were gunned down at the Ok Corral... sources say that maybe one soldier was killed.

Truth is that there was a rain of bullets between the Mexican Army and the Gunmen for Hire (one of many groups that have been killing people left and right in this town) over at the Pan American Interstate, a few hours away from Juarez.

I for one am glad to say AT LONG F-ING LAST! The Mexican Army is not just for showcase here! They're actually DOING something to end with these murders that go around shooting people at restaurants, parks, movie theaters, malls, and just about every goddamn place they want! Good! And oh! The "Kodak moment" -- a few days ago, the newspaper reported a note in which a 13 year-old kid captured the precise moment a person was being gunned down by these people... and the reporter (oh bless his putrid little heart!) gave name, address, and location of the kid and his friends... heck! He even did an "exclusive" interview with him! I mean -- HELLO?! Is there a BRAIN inside that noggin?

Looks-about-the-city

--- This kid is still amazed that his parents are too buzzed to even notice him begin his own little party... Holy Molly! They left a caguama for me!!!









---- This school is supposedly one of the most prestigious bilingual schools in the state of Chihuahua. Not only will they teach the kid to be bilingual, but they will also teach them the meaning of the word "TECHING"








-- WHAT AN OFFER!!! SCARFS!! FROM 40 PESOS! ON SALE AT 200!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!